BEARTRAPPIN' by D.Doph (Wagenblatz)

Parallel Universe . 21

I can't believe so many men are chasing me
Can't believe in my sultry native spell
Can't believe these studs are persisting in embracing me
I've become their own personal Hell

I am the Hell and the Heaven that they pray to
Falling down upon their dimpled hairy knees
They hunker up to me; and they say to
Me: let me give you what you need, please

Please let me kiss those ruby red lips
Though they may be only a pleasing pink
Let me chase you around the kitchen table
Then throw your hairy bear ass in the sink
Please let me bring my kneepads to New Orleans
So I can sink to my knees in the street
Let be lunch like pork and like beans
Long as those lips are so kissably sweet

Yes, gentlemen!
You can take what you like from me
Long as I can draw one last living breath
Why bother to withdraw that throbbing fuckspike from me
Long as there's a possibility of fucking me to death?

But of course
There's no possibility that's ever going to happen
we are just going to have a nice little chat
What you are doing is just BEARTRAPPIN'
Because I have way too much respect for myself than that!

Forgetfulness by Wagenblatz (Dennis Doph)

As 2012 rears inexorably up
To trump my worn-out old psychic Ace
I now use Google and Bing to save my face
So I can sustain the Winner's Cup
Come off as bold and brash and tough
And the most Bodacious Film Buff.

Hate stumbling into a hole
When I require an Academy payload
Then I forget who played Ma Joad
Can't remember that bitch's name to save my soul
Only that she tried to save Fonda from disaster
And played the bigmouthed trail boss in Wagonmaster.

Then, who was the long limbed blond abreast of Rita
Wriggling in Tonight and Every Night
This cold blond babe made everything come out allright
She sure was a Columbia repeater!
And, for some Hail Columbia rhyme
Starred opposite Grant in Once Upon a Time.

Who, shrugging his hairy shoulders 'neath his shirt,
Got the chance to shtupp Anne Baxter
(shying away from icy Phyllis Thaxter)
All About Eve put him on Red Alert,
But for a spate of million dollar grossers
He segued into Earth vs. the Flying Saucers.

Spiralling out of this ungodly filmic blitz
Who the heck, or I might say, who the hell
Played the mean kid sis of Linda Darnell
In that boss screenplay by Joe Manckiewicz
Then became a braying Great Plains roamer
Backing up Gloria Grahame in Oklahomer?

Who was the guy who showed his racing scars
To Douglas and ripe Katy Jurado
Suffering Henry Hathaway bravado
Nose to nose with Kirk in souped-up cars
Then, in 3D, could not get much bolder
Throwing Jane Russell over one mighty shoulder

And who, pocketing his first Golden Man,
Sucked face with Jonathan Rhys Myers
Suffering anal rape from McGregor (simply dires!)
Though you can only see this on a Panavision scan,
Last year he got kudos from Marky Mark
And then a kiss for staying after dark.

If you film buffs know your P's and Q's
And don't think film history started with Star Wars
Here's a chance to bring your knowledge out of doors
Use the clues I've given to Google or Bing it
Or hold your breath ... and fucking wing it.

Every buff should know these amazing performances and players.
Each night I remember them in my prayers.
Send me the answers for this film lore rebus
Unless you have the memory of amoebas!